dclawed2.livejournal.com
- Mood:
blank - Music:Mother Earth - Within Temptation
The Castle Personality Test |
 You are a bit tentative when it comes to new experiences. You have to push yourself to try new things, but once you do, you love the adventure. You don't spend a lot of time thinking about how people see you. You're kind of scared to know what they think. You are a very romantic person. You can't help but see the world as it should be. Right now, stress occasionally makes you feel trapped in your life. You usually have a clear perspective on things though! Overall, your life is well managed and fulfilling. You enjoy every day, even if nothing out of the ordinary happens. You are extremely optimistic about the future. You feel like things are always getting better. |
The Keys to Your Life |
 Anything good that comes in your life will come from your own self reflection. Don't rely on other people for advice. They will harm you more then help you. Anything bad in your life comes from sinking to the level of those around you. Remember to lift people up, and refuse to participate in anything petty. |
Your Autumn Test Results |
 You are a energetic, warm, optimistic person. You approach everything with a lot of enthusiasm. When you're happiest, you are outgoing and expressive . You love celebrations, and you enjoy showing off a little. You tend to be afraid of change. You are never ready for things to be different. You find novelty to be the most comforting thing in the world. You love anything that's new or unusual. Your ideal day is chill and uneventful. You prefer to kick back and take it easy. You are nostalgic. You can't truly appreciate something until it has come and gone. |
What Your Love of Nerds Says About You |
 No doubt about it, you're a bit of a geek. You're a bit offbeat in an appearance, but you're still real cute. You don't care much about what other people think. You're too busy doing your own thing! You're definitely one of a kind - and in your case, that's a very good thing. |
You Are 60% Witch |
 You've got some pretty witchy stuff going on. Even if you're not a witch, you've got to admit that you're a little freaky. You have a strong independent streak - social norms be damned. More power to you. Luckily, the time when you would have been burned at the stake has passed! |
- Mood:
calm - Music:Stand in the Rain - Superchick
Anyway, I promise to post in here more often XD Heh heh. Starting with this:
Remember Dav, that guy I dated looong ago? He sent me a love note the other day (mixed in with a "Help me, I'm depressed" message). So I'm a bit confused about that, but other than that... ehhh, NOTHING has happened! And I have three more months of this nothing land. BLEH.
Ning, do you know if Colin is all right? How is he? Oh my God
I basically ended up making a whole Thanksgiving dinner for Jera and Zach's family with Jera and Zach, and it was amazing XD I hope the food turns out okay. I failed at peeling potatoes. Um... let's see, I also made a video of us pulling things out of the turkey which will someday be on facebook. We also played Ocarina of Time whilst doing this.
In other news: They broke up?!?! I knew he was THINKING of breaking up with her, but I didn't think he'd get the guts to actually go and do it. Kinda shellshocked by this news.
We reached 420.
This does not include Ani Meets and Friday Nights.
That is like talking 17.5 days straight, no sleeping.
Oh my God XD
- Mood:
crazy
Other than that, I guess things are okay. Jeremiah, Sam Br and Teija got confirmed in their faith yesterday. The Milton Fair was actually pretty epic... I rode on everything with Adam so we could give Britt and Kevin "alone time". I'm watching Pride and Prejudice right now and considering reading Northanger Abbey later on today. Got new tarot cards... Kevin's decided to call me every day at his lunch hour so I won't be so lonely and bored, which I guess is rather sweet of him.
I poured candle wax down the sink drain again, so my dad's boiling it out (impatiently, of course). Meanwhile, I'm contemplating rearranging and redoing my bedroom.
What's new on your end?
- Mood:
annoyed - Music:Listen to Your Heart - DHT
Basically, Dad and I were at a variety store and I bought a book (as did he). As we were leaving, I saw packets of flower seed: Peach, cherry blossom, rose and (you guessed it) lily. I bought one packet of all of them, minus the peach, and took them home.
It was fall, so I didn't expect the flowers were going to grow right away. However, almost the second I planted them in the backyard, they grew! I mainly grew the lillies (which were an odd indigo colour) in rows around my backyard. I grew one pink rose, and one red lily, and one cherry blossom tree that I didn't get to see grow.
But it was epic. And I am now happy.
There is no way I'm not doing the symbolism for this dream.
Gardens represent love, bliss, and comfort. It also means that you are growing something new in your life.
Peach blossoms represent longetivity.
Cherry blossoms represent a good education, transience in life and feminine beauty.
Pink roses represent grace and perfect happiness.
Indigo lily doesn't exist. Quite frankly, they do not exist. But indigo means spirituality.
- Mood:
ecstatic
Three years ago
Now
Colours: Purple
Colours: Orange, white, green, blue
Animals: Cats and birds and tigers and dolphins
Birthday: March 20
Age: 13
Astrological sign: Pisces
Likes: Singing, pranking, playing games
Dislikes: Show-offs
Favorite Gemstone: Topaz, aqua marine
School: Eastveiw
Hobbies: Acting, singing, eating, sleeping, pranking, art, computer, roller-blading, biking, looking up stuff on the internet, reading.
Pets: Ashley, D.C and Little One.
Elements: Earth and air.
Now
Colours: Purple
Animals: Panther, butterfly
Birthday: March 20
Age: 16
Astrological sign: Pisces
Likes: Dresses, cameras, writing, books, candles, tarot cards, flowers.
Dislikes: Disloyalty
Favorite Gemstone: Tiger's eye, jade
School: Blakelock
Hobbies: Singing, writing, computer stuff, reading, walking, going to Milton, reading.
Pets: Ashley, Theo and Little One.
Favourite Elements: Earth. Caught between air and fire, too.Your turn
- Mood:
cranky
The one person that I thought was stable, and good, moral and practical has started to do the dumbest thing imaginable. You've heard me talk about him constantly; he's my hero. He means more to me than most people know. The first book I ever finished writing was a book about him. People tend to think that we'd make a good couple.
Yes, I'm talking about Ben, and I'm talking about drugs.
Ben's doing weed. I know it's not the worst drug to do in the world, but I still think he's being an idiot. Please help me figure out how to make him stop. I keep thinking that he's been my hero for so long that I have to go and be his or something.
- Mood:
confused
It was all dark and bitter until Adam and I walked down to the bus stop at Hopedale at lunch (and ate). That kid always makes things better / more comfortable. Except for when I said I wanted to do carwheels but was in a dress, and he said "Go ahead! I'm a guy! I don't mind!"
All in all, the day was probably a 3 until lunch. I'm feeling a bit better about school, but I'm still going out of my way to dodge to and fro.
Whatever. Baaaby steps :)
- Mood:
anxious
Also, me and my dog have bonded. I no longer dislike the little bugger. I just figure he's like an energetic, living stuffed animal :D
- Mood: amused
- Music:Supergirl - Krystal Harris
I thought I could get through this by force, but apparently I can't. I know this is making some people (Ning) angry, but I think I really do need to take the time off. I'll still be taking Math and Vocal Music, but my other two courses are down the drain. After today, I was finally convinced that I just need time to sit back and learn how to focus again. Learn how to do everything again.
It isn't just because of the KKK. Yeah, that's part of it. But I think it was mostly a trigger for a ton of issues that have been stewing for a long time now, gross enough.
I'm taking a full course load next semester, but not this one. That's all there is to it. I'm finally just gonna let this happen, because the littlest things set me off into hysterics at that school. Poor Angela had to see that today. So did Adam M.
- Mood:
defeated
Listening to Mrs C tell us about the No Late policy this year actually inspired me. How? It made me realize that I hate it when I don't have stability. I hate it when I have no deadlines. I HATE it.
So, I'm making goals for myself. Make it through the day until my favourite class (Vocal Music). Only miss one day of school each week and I get to go to Britt's on the weekend, and we get to go to the Rec Center in Milton to swim.
Amen to that.
- Mood: angry
I know I've been really depressing for the past few months, but I swear to God it'll be over soon. It better be.
In the middle of second period, I crashed. I left the class crying. I ran down to the public library, called my mom and got out of there. I couldn't face having Math Class period 4. It's too... Colin. Everywhere.
I kept thinking I saw him, or her, and it was awful. I didn't see either, but I DID nearly start vomiting. It isn't "what could have been", it's "what is". I had a lot of panic attacks today, despite the meds that I've been given to keep them from happening and the prozac.
I never want to go to that school again.
I really hope all of yours went well, on the other hand :)
- Mood: crushed
Guuuuess what?
My period hasn't come. It's been two weeks and no notice. Probably from stress.
Now, I wouldn't normally be telling you guys this tidbit... if it weren't for how my mother is reacting.
She thinks that I had sex with Colin and am now pregnant, despite me saying "No fucking way" over and over.
Isn't life grand?
- Mood: bitchy
Something I never 'officially' posted.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=otMB3WVQNVg
Let's just say that there's a song that you listen to casually, not really LISTENING to it, just really enjoying the trilling notes and voice; the haunting melody, but never the words. And then one day, you do listen to the lyrics. And I mean more than hear them... really listen to them.
Let's just say you see exactly the point of view of the song writer... the death of a loved one. How much more powerful can a melancholy piece of music be, right? We've all been there. It hurts like Hell, and the feeling doesn't go away too quickly. It's a deep gash that you don't feel at first, but gradually you feel it more and more until you're writhing in pain on the ground, screaming just to lessen the feeling. The scar never completely heals, and once in a while it reopens and you have to seal it up again. Eventually, it's opened so many times that you know it will never close again, and you have to live with the forever-ghost of a once beautiful, breathing, existing creature perminantly in your midst.
But for me, that isn't what this song is about.
For me, this song is about something as simple as a boy you care about walking away without a glance over his shoulder. The same boy walking behind you, close enough for you to hear what he's saying and feel his breath on your neck, but with him talking to his best friend who he spent the whole period with without talking to you at all. That boy who is the only person in the entire WORLD that you would want to have be there when you cry, when you know he wouldn't be.
And that's why I like this song.
***
Sad thing is, we all know who I wrote this for -__-
- Mood:
cold
Good lordy.
Skeptical? So am I.
- Mood: confused
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